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Relationship Issues

Relationship Issues often point toward issues with co-dependency, which is defined as a painful set of behaviours, attitudes and beliefs that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also referred to as a relationship addiction, which means that the individual regulates themselves in response to the person they are in relationship with, often this person is unavailable or will commonly be the person in addiction. These styles of relating are learned in families where there is an ongoing stress that prevents caregivers from proving emotional safety and nurturing. Instead, family members are shamed, blamed and feelings are not validated. A common consequence of growing up in an environment such as this is the individual learns to neglect their own needs and feelings and to instead be highly focussed on attending to the needs of others in all future relationships. If you relate to 3 or more of the following you may have Co-Dependency Pia Mellody has defined the following five core issues of codependency.

Self–esteem Issues:

Self-esteem comes from the ability to value the self from the deep knowledge of one’s inherent worth. Struggling with self-esteem results in a relational style of going one-up (better-than) or one-down (less-than) in relationships with others.

Boundary Issues:

Boundaries exist to facilitate intimacy in relationships. Struggling with boundaries can look like being boundary-less (too vulnerable or victimized) or being walled off (invulnerable) or bouncing back and forth between the two extremes.

Reality Issues:

Children need to have their reality validated. If a child experiences some type of abuse or abandonment when expressing their reality, they will learn to detach from their reality over time.  As adults they will have a difficult time knowing what their reality is or holding on to their reality in the face of someone else’s reality.


Healthy adults know how to be interdependent with others and to take responsibility for getting their needs and wants met. Struggling with dependency issues results in being too dependent, anti-dependent, or unaware of one’s needs and wants.

Moderation Issues:

Knowing how to live life moderately is a key adult skill. Struggling with moderation can look like being very controlling, super-mature, and over-doing or can look like being out-of-control, super-immature and under-doing. We understand at Byron Private that only through interaction with others in a safe and supportive environment can the individual identify and work on their co-dependent behaviours. With the support of the Byron Private team, the therapeutic community and your carer you will learn to support yourself emotionally and develop healthy relationships with yourself, family and loved ones. Contact us now via the website and one of our clinical team will respond to you within 24 hours. If you are ready to take the first steps to codependency treatment and recovery please call our Clinical Director today on 0457 888 890

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