For many, Easter represents a time of connection with family and friends, enjoying a few too many Easter eggs and taking a break from our busy lives. For those however that are struggling with eating disorders it can be flavoured with intense fear and shame. I certainly was one of the latter, where every Easter I would descend into a binge purge cycle that would take me weeks sometimes a month to come out of. No matter how much I tried to exert my willpower, to set up a program of eating and tell myself I just wouldn’t, it would only take one bite and I would be gone…both mentally and physically…
Many Easters have passed now where I am no longer a prisoner to my old fears and behaviours that would have me withdraw and disconnect from those I love. I am certainly not cured of all my food and body issues…sometimes I really struggle with my negative patterns of thinking….the real difference is that now I just show up anyway, regardless of my crazy mind.
SO… what can you do if you are that person still stuck in that uncomfortable place of shame and dread this weekend or if you are supporting someone you know is having a hard time?
I know.. sounds simple right? But it is an extremely difficult thing to do with when you have a pathological critic in your head. But if there is one gift that I was given while I struggled with my disorded eating and extremely painful ways of relating to my body and myself…is that there is nothing you need to change, just show up as you are this weekend, even if you binge and purge, or don’t eat much at all, just hold that part of you that needs kindness, love and support. Don’t wait for yourself to be fixed to occupy space in the world, if I had waited to be fixed, then I would still be hiding away and I would have never achieved anything..
The gift I would like to give you this Easter and it is yummier than any Easter egg you can possibly find are the wise words of Osho…
“Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece.
You cannot be improved.
You have only to come to it, to know it, to realise it.”
I wish you a Happy Easter, exactly as you are!
About Kylie Beattie
Kylie is co founder of Byron Private Treatment Centre and holds qualifications in business, marketing, psychotherapy and has worked as a counsellor for The Australian Addiction and Trauma Treatment Centre, Byron Bay. Kylie has a passion for Family Systemic Constellation Work and has studied extensively with leaders in the field. Kylie began her own journey in recovery over 16 years ago from disordered eating and addiction and understands first hand the miracle and wonder of recovery.