For many, Easter represents a time of connection with family and friends, enjoying a few too many Easter eggs and simply taking a break from our busy lives. For those however that are struggling with eating disorders it can be flavoured with intense fear and shame. I certainly was one of the latter, where every Easter I would end up in a vicious binge purge cycle that would take weeks sometimes months to come out of. No matter how much I tried to exert my willpower, set up a program of eating or tell myself I just wouldn’t, it would only take ONE bite and I would be in full blown addiction – both mentally and physically.
Then shame would descend on me like a heavy cloud…..
Many Easters have now passed where I no longer struggle to the depths I once had, I am certainly not cured of all my food and body issues…I still struggle with my crazy thinking. The big difference is that now I have a kinder voice, a softer voice that brings me back to who I am and supports me to show up anyway, regardless of my crazy mind!
It was never about eating or not eating the Easter eggs – I have without major event already eaten a few of the kids eggs this year! It is more about tapping into my true essence, who I really am beyond the story, just waiting for me to simply turn toward it.
SO… what can you do if you are that person still stuck in that uncomfortable place of shame and dread this weekend or if you are supporting someone you know is having a hard time?
I know.. simple right? But it is an extremely difficult thing to do with when you have a pathological critic in your head. But if there is one gift that I was given while I struggled with my disorded eating and extremely painful ways of relating to my body and myself is that…..
- There is nothing you need to change…seriously!
- Just show up as you are this weekend – even if you binge and purge or don’t eat at all
- Hold that part of you that needs kindness, love and support and most importantly…
- DON’T wait to be fixed or that voice to disappear to occupy space in the world
If I had waited to be fixed, then I would still be hiding away and I would have never achieved anything.
The gift I would like to give you this Easter is found in the wise words of Osho…(who is not perfect either)…
“Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece.
You cannot be improved.
You have only to come to it, to know it, to realise it.”
I wish you a Happy Easter, exactly as you are!
About Kylie Beattie
As co founder and Director Kylie has played a vital role in the vision, establishment and development of Byron Private Treatment Centre. Kylie draws on her experiences and qualifications to ensure the program at Byron Private continues to be not only reputable and professional but most importantly heartfelt. Kylie holds a Bachelor of Social Science (Counselling) and has completed extensive studies in Family Systemic Constellation work, a cornerstone element of therapy for clients of Byron Private. Kylie began her own journey in recovery over 18 years ago from disordered eating and addiction and understands first hand the miracle and wonder of recovery.